Veepstakes

To kick off the profiles of friends, I will discuss some of my close friends (the risk crew) and their relative pros and cons as a potential running mate for my foray into the 2008 presidential election.

Matt G.:

Matt is a 20 year old San Jose native. He lives with his nice, staunchly liberal parents and works at a movie theater. Matt and I have known each other for about 14 years now. Matt has a big heart. He is the kind of guy who would lay down and die for you, if he loved you. He prefers brunettes to blondes.

Pros:

• Would fiercely rebut critics
• Can be physically imposing
• Owns a Xbox 360
• Has a car
• Solid character guy--we go way back
• Eagle Scout

Cons:

• Often sports a neckbeard
• Criminal History: he was grounded 90% of the time from 2003-2005
• Has a piece of shit car
• Eagle Scout

Edward L.:

Edward is the son of "Taiwanese" immigrants. He currently attends Stanford University where he is double-majoring in things that have something to do with some combination of math, science, computers, and perhaps engineering. Edward, or Eddy, has been dating this girl for a century or so.

Pros:

• Super Genius
• Tremendous work ethic
• Brings Asian demographic vote
• May or may not have six-pack abs
• May or may not be a robot
  

Cons:

• Flakey friend
• Some people spell his name "Eddie" and some spell it "Eddy"
• Has an older brother named Edison (potential confusion)
• Has been known to put work/computer programming/playing piano in front of other priorities
• May or may not be a robot
  

Alex G.:

Alex is a really sweet guy who currently attends UCSD. Alex has a really great family, filled with fun interesting people. He lives a rock and roll lifestyle full of hedonism. He enjoys simple pleasures like indulgences of the flesh, substance intake, Tetris, and Angband.

Pros:

• Charming fellow
• Brings in the homosexual, tween, and deadbeat vote
• Great cook
• Very good Tetris player

Cons:

• Long hair
• Gets really whiny and stops functioning after midnight
• Rock and roll lifestyle a potential campaign liability
• Knits

Dan V.:

Dan is a blonde, half-Jew from the South Bay. He currently attends UC Berkeley where he studies chemistry for a variety of unknown reasons. Dan is a loyal friend--the kind that would send Christmas cards when we all grow up, except the fact that he may or may not be Jewish/Agnostic/Pagan. He is currently a member of some terrible fraternity in Berkeley that is probably ruining his life.

Pros:

• Probably the wealthiest of my friends
• Has a neat hybrid car
• Incredibly smart and insightful at times
• Willing to compromise to be a runner up

Cons:

• Frat baggage
• Rock and roll lifestyle: Xtreme version
• Incredibly dumb and shortsighted at times
• Real name is Dana

Will D.:

Will is a tremendously kind and intelligent person. He is currently studying philosophy at UC Berkeley. Will likes to make lists and loves to cross things off said lists. He has a super human drive to systematically better himself (often in bizarre ways... sunbathing?). Will is a true diamond in the rough; his value increases the more you see of him.

Pros:

• Solid character guy
• Very smart
• Brings an interesting and philosophical perspective to conflicts
• Reliable, methodical, and hard-working

Cons:

• Kind-of neurotic
• Women issues
• Has a monster/alien/devil-thing for a dog
  

I wonder who I should pick? You'll find out at convention!